Posted by admin on July 25, 2011 under Why do people cheat | 
Cheating in a relationship can occur due to physical and also emotional circumstances. One cannot be considered in isolation to the other because the reason why people cheat is usually due to a combination of both factors. However right now we will be discussing the physical reasons for infidelity in a relationship and then continue to the emotional reasons in the next article. The intention is to draw to your attention some typical underlying issues which may lead to infidelity. Through observation and open communication you should be able to make some improvements in your relationship.
Below is the list of physical reasons why someone would cheat in a relationship and explanations:
Hormone Imbalance or problematic sex drive: Some persons suffer genuinely from a hormone imbalance in which they will either have a high low sex drive.
In the case of a high sex drive the person is unable to control themselves when the urge is there and when confronted with a situation will succumb to it. Sometimes it is assumed that the person has a weak character and many times this is not the case, it is that it just can’t be helped.
All is not loss however, because simple test and therapy may actually help to fix this type of cheating relationship. Ultimately it will be your decision to stay but it is good to know the real reason why the person you love was unfaithful.
The other side of the coin is a low libido or low sex drive. If you are suffering from this then you will leave your partner craving for affection. It is not just the act of sex but your spouse may start to think they are unattractive or that you are not being faithful to them. This does cause issues in the relationship.
Excitement: Some people like to lie and hide just for the thrill of it.The prospect of doing something and not being caught is exciting to them. These are risk takers and generally are prone to cheating in a relationship. It is found generally men are more risk takers than females. Females do like the excitement but they are more controlled in their actions and as a result are less likely to be caught. These persons need to channel this feeling into something else which will give them an alternate thrill.
New Feeling and stimulation: This may have nothing to do with whether you are good in bed or not. This kind of person is stimulated by a different person’s touch. This type of cheater would not leave you but expect repeated affairs or incidences. Infidelity in your relationship is almost guaranteed
Lack of Sex or physical contact: Physical contact and sex plays a vital role in a relationship. If there is a lack of either or both then it can send the wrong signals to your spouse or lover. This has nothing to do with a low sex drive as mentioned earlier but other factors such as erectile dysfunction or just being generally turned off physically by your lover. As the saying goes if you don’t do the job someone else will for you.
Lack of Sex appeal: Sex appeal is relative as you go from person to person. However many partners later in the relationship becomes comfortable with their looks and tend not to take as much pride in their appearance. This may lead to them becoming overweight; dressing in a manner which is unappealing or by having an unappealing attitude (less risky, old fashion). If your spouse or lover in their mind thinks you have lost your sex appeal he or she may begin to look at other persons. Looking is what usually starts the ball rolling when it comes to infidelity in your relationship.
Now we are at the end of this section pertaining to the physical needs and issues of partners in a relationship. We hope it give some insight on what might be taking place with your lover or spouse which might be previously unknown to you. The next section of this article series deals with emotional reasons for cheating in a relationship. Click the continue link below when you have completed the article. If you are concerned now that she or he might be cheating check our article on signs of a cheating spouse or lover to put your mind at ease.
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Posted by admin on July 24, 2011 under Why do people cheat |
The top question on many men minds today is why do women cheat? Why sacrifice your marriage and everything which is certain for something that is uncertain or momentary? In society the old school of thought is that women generally would be unfaithful to their husband or boyfriend due to emotional reasons. This is the case the majority of time today however there are females who are more into the physical aspect alone (in the minority).
So what are these emotional reasons which will cause a woman to cheat on her spouse? Well it is lack of emotional attention. A wife or a girlfriend needs to believe that they are important in the relationship. It does not mean going out and buy expensive gifts although that helps but the little things. Letting her know she is pretty or you are thinking about her can brighten up their day. However, many men do fall short of standing up to the challenge.
It doesn’t happen usually at the beginning of the relationship but after some time down the road where the appreciationstarts to dwindle on both sides. As a result it is easy for her to be drawn to someone who will listen or be there for her. Basically if you are not there she will find someone else who would. This is why people cheat in general and that is to fill a void.
Below are the six main answers to the question why do women cheat:
- Lack of partner’s commitment: If she believes that her partner is not truly committed or does not have a plan for a future, she will start to look elsewhere while she waits. She will tend to talk and look for other persons who are genuinely interested and seem willing to commit (marriage material or willing to have children). This person may win her over and she may leave you for this person. However, this is usually after a long period of frustration (e.g. usually a few of years).
- Revenge on a cheating partner: There is nothing worse than a woman scorned and we all know that they sometimes hit below the belt when it comes to revenge. Women have spited partners by becoming involved with their close friends, family or even co-workers (ouch!!!). Let’s face it women can do it easily; females get hit on everyday no matter their shape, size or looks. Therefore if you are unfaithful to her and finds out then watch out. This is actually one of the main reasons why women cheat physically on their partners today.
- She does not feel like number one: A lady likes to feel that she is the center of the universe or at least yours. Work and friends most of the times are the biggest distractions in a relationship. If she does not feel important to you then she will tend to associate with someone who will give the time and attention which is desired.
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Posted by admin on under Why do people cheat |
One of the most popular questions in the world today from the ladies is why do men cheat? Many persons believe there is no such thing as a faithful man and that it is in their instinct to be promiscuous. It doesn’t matter if you have a good woman at home because this isn’t enough to keep him from fooling around on you. Men have been causing a stir in the media with persons such as Tiger Woods, Eliot Spitzer and other celebrities. These guys have everything power, beautiful wives, family and fortune but still would be unfaithful with not just one but multiple persons.
This article delves into the whole idea of men being faithful in a relationship. It also deals with how he could be sidetracked from the road of monogamy and commitment. When trying to understand the question of why do men cheat? The first thing we must acknowledge is, men and women are different both psychologically and physically. Therefore if you are a female do not expect that the things which make you happy will make him happy. Psychologically males tend to have a winning attitude. They like to know they can succeed in everything this include relationships, sports, sex and the list go on. Success is a sign of strength and power while failure in their minds is a weakness. In society men are groomed from young to be strong and winners. If they cannot feel like winners at work and at home, it frustrates them greatly.
Gary Neuman who is a well recognised author and therapist talks about males and their winning attitude in his book “The Truth About Cheating”. In understanding the reasons a man would cheat on you he states you must understand this winning attitude. In his research he interviewed several couples consisting of both faithful and unfaithful men. In his survey he discovered that approximately 1 in 2.7 males will fool around in a relationship. He also discovered that 88% of males that cheated said the other person was not better looking or in better shape than their wives or girlfriend. So why would someone cheat if what the outside person is no better than their partner home. It is quite simple these other persons make them feel respected, admired and alive basically feeding their winning spirit in one form or another. They satisfy that side that their partner was not fulfilling and it is not necessarily about sex. Sex to males is another sign of winning or conquering which is a thrill to them.
The other side to a male is his biological side. The reason why men cheat biologically is because men crave sexual variety. This was well researched by Professor David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human mating. He also goes on to explain that women are more attracted to males with money, power and status. If you look at this scenario you can easily understand why powerful and popular men are so vulnerable. They already have a craving for sexual variety and you have numerous ladies after them. These men are not the only men vulnerable but just make them more prone.
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Posted by admin on under Why do people cheat |
As mentioned in the main article “why people cheat”, there are both physical and emotional reasons for cheating in a relationship. This discussion deals with the emotional reasons for infidelity only. In this case we will be delving into the person’s psychology or mentality. If you can better understand your partner needs then you will be able to satisfy them. Then there will be no need for your husband, wife or whoever to look elsewhere.
This doesn’t mean pampering them but simple things like saying how you miss them; calling to find out how his or her day went and even hugging and cuddling at night may satisfy that void he or she is missing. Sometimes it is just the simple things which can make a difference. It shows concern, care and appreciation on your side.
Take a look from your side and think about what make you feel appreciated and cared for. Although it may not be the same as your partner, you will start to appreciate what is lacking from the relationship. In other words, are you giving them what you expect them to give you?
Below is a list of reasons people cheat in a relationship:
Hatred of other people: These are people who have been cheated on in prior relationships or have seen situations where persons (e.g. mother, close friends) are hurt deeply due to infidelity. Their minds have been tainted by their own experience or from experiences of others. Therefore there reason for cheating in their relationships is simply because chances are their partner will do the same in the near future.
Mentally weak or low self-esteem: Some persons don’t know how to say no when they are confronted with certain situations. This low self- esteem comes usually from a young age and deals with being accepted. For example a guy may not be accepted as a “man” if they don’t talk to another woman or get her number or even sleep with her. Does this sound familiar to you?
Feeling ignored: When your spouse is feeling neglected in the relationship you are depriving them of the emotional support they need. Your partner may believe that he or she is inadequate or your feelings have changed towards them. This may leave a door open for someone else who can fill that void.
Loss of feelings by one or both persons: People fall out of love or have a change in feelings for different reasons. It may be a combination of emotional and physical reasons why this occur. It could be lack of attention, communication issues or a new person, almost anything can cause this. When feelings are not there or worst, there no longer exist then your lover may be still in the relationship for other emotional reasons such as comfort or security.
He or she wants to move on: Some persons can’t move on or don’t know how to for different physical, financial or emotional reasons. These persons may have affairs intentionally to get the strength to move on or to put them in the position they can. For example they may start cheating in a relationship in order for you to break up with them.
Problems and issues: People are most vulnerable when their relationships are in trouble. This leads to constant quarreling (sometimes for the slightest things), lack in communication and other things similar to those listed above. Whatever reason it maybe if these issues are not resolved your lover may look for support elsewhere. It may be innocent at the start and then develop into something more.
Obsessive or controlling partner: If you ask anyone if they are controlling or obsessive the answer is usually no. Trying to control someone or obsess over them often cause emotional strife. You feel like a prisoner in your own home and in general. Everyone likes their space and freedom so by withholding it you are depriving them of their basic needs. Therefore, when an opportunity arises these persons are more inclined to take it.
Ego Booster and attention: Who does not like attention? Both males and females like attention from others. It boosts their confidence and also their ego. They will be thinking in their minds I am married or in a relationship and still have it (look sexy or handsome). Feeding an ego is like feeding a hungry animal the more you do it the more it wants and expect.
We have now reached the end of this article and we hope it gave you all the information you need about the emotional reasons why people cheat. It is meant as a guide for improving your relationship because if you know the reasons and problems, then you can come up with a solution to deal with it. Some persons as mentioned earlier will cheat no matter what.
If you would like to find out more about cheating in a relationship and infidelity then take a look at the free twelve week e-course by Dr.Huizenga 
